celine ong on finding her creative process & writing her debut romance novel
Born in sweltering Singapore, Celine Ong (they/she) was raised in mosh pits and writes fun and flirty queer romance novels about chaos gremlins with dreadful manners, funky feelings, and mortifyingly earnest hearts. Their proudest accomplishment is being able to, completely unprovoked, quote the entirety of Venom: Let There Be Carnage by heart. Hold Me Like a Grudge, an adult queer sports romance between pro wrestlers, is her debut novel.
Hold Me Like a Grudge
by Celine Ong
When a fierce rivalry between two professional wrestlers heats up beneath the spotlight, neither man can fight the attraction burning between them, in this steamy sports romance.
From death-defying stunts to campy character gimmicks, everything in the world of professional wrestling is an act. Asher Ross's hatred for Caleb Knight, however, is not. When Asher finally gets drafted to Global Elite Wrestling's main roster and is thrown into a feud with Caleb for the World Championship title, he's hell-bent on making Caleb's life a living nightmare. But as both men trade barbs and blows across arenas, they're each surprised to find their chemistry is so electric, it can't be just for show.
Through rehearsals, training sessions, and injuries, Caleb's icy walls begin to thaw, revealing the real man hidden behind the cruel person GEW has molded him into. An unlikely truce blossoms into feelings neither want to deny, but, set in old ways, the company won't let them be seen as anything more than bitter rivals, both in and out of the ring.
With the risk of their forbidden romance upending their lifelong dreams, Asher and Caleb grapple with what they truly want in an industry known to erase queerness from its history, and square up against the hardest challenge yet: how much of their hearts they are prepared to give up, and if they are willing to fight to leave a legacy of their own.
Interview with celine ong:
How did you settle on writing a love story between two professional wrestlers?
Thanks to my grandmother, I grew up watching lots of pro wrestling, so much of this world came naturally to me. Due to time zones, we’d wake up at four in the morning to watch beefy, elaborately dressed men trade barbs and blows, hurl their bodies off towering ladders, and come crashing down through tables for the sake of entertainment—and I adored it. Pro wrestling is interesting in that it straddles a fine line between sports and entertainment. In fact, if you think about it, pro wrestling is drag meets a circus.
Was there a single moment, image, or question that sparked Hold Me Like a Grudge, or did it emerge gradually over time?
Hold Me Like a Grudge was born out of a text sent to my best friend going “DID YOU KNOW DOG COLLAR MATCHES ARE A REAL THING IN PRO WRESTLING? NO HOMO BTW”
And the rest, as they say, was history.
Tell us about the creative process of writing your debut book! Did you learn anything about how you work best?
My creative process is best described as a tsunami of chaos. Once an idea strikes me, I’m immediately sending a billion texts yelling at the top of my lungs and flinging out various scenes and banter in a flurry of bullet points. I later wrangle all the chaos into submission through thorough plotting.
As a neurodivergent author, I also struggle with sitting at a desk and writing for extended periods of time. I used to try and force myself to do it but have since learnt there is no correct way to write. Explore different methods and see what works best for you! Personally, I now draft my novels by walking in circles around a park and writing as I go. Do I look insane? Probably. Does it work? Absolutely.
Hold Me Like a Grudge is such an evocative title. How did you arrive at it, and why is it right for this story?
"Hold Me Like a Grudge" is the title of a Fall Out Boy song, and Fall Out Boy is my favorite band. I settled on this title before they released a music video for the single, and as to my surprise and delight, Patrick Stump (lead singer) plays a wrestler in the music video. Cosmic or what?
On a deeper level, it felt right to have this book titled off a pop punk / punk rock song as both things share the same heart: underdogs defiantly rising up and raging against the machine.
Reviewers have praised your ability to write a spicy romance with emotional tenderness. Was that contrast something you intentionally wanted to create?
Yes! I believe spice is a great opportunity for two characters to explore deeper dynamics of their relationship and furthers communication and that feeling of implicit safety to put your body and heart in the hands of someone you love and trust. I was also intentional in ensuring that there was enough emotional tenderness to balance out the brutality of pro wrestling. For a sport that is so seemingly garish, the hill I will die on is that pro wrestling is incredibly intimate and homoerotic. Wrestlers put their bodies in their opponent’s hands, implicitly trusting that their most hated enemy will keep them safe when it matters most, communicating through the most subtle yet tender of touches, a secret language shared between two. Isn’t that romantic? Would it be so out of the question if they kissed too? Haha just kidding…unless…?
Why do you think the subgenre of sports romance is having such a big moment in popularity right now?
There is something deeply special about seeing queer athletes simply existing and falling in love in a world that often pretends that can’t happen, then taking that and mapping it onto the lives of queer folk. It’s a reclamation: making coming out your own, at your own pace and comfort, on your own terms. And I think it ultimately boils down to this: finding solace in seeing how we deserve our own story without needing a spotlight on it and deserving to find love without each move being scrutinized.
What’s your favorite genre to read?
I love all genres of queer romance (read queer all year!) but have lately been obsessed with horror too.
What do you most hope your readers learn, feel, or take away from this novel?
Defiance and queer hope! That ember cupped between the palms of your blistered and calloused hands as you rise up time and time again in spite of those who try to keep you down.
In a time where the world feels extra mean and the awful things seem big and insurmountable, I gave Asher one of my greatest fears: that we are just blips and the systems are too massive. How can the smallest things possibly make a difference? But they do. That is the undeniable truth. Like those who paved the way through queer history, the fights that Asher and Caleb get into are scrappy and bloody, and that is hope—passionately violent. But hope is this too: that heart beating inside their chests, and yours as well. Woven into the very fabric of their existence.
I hope Asher and Caleb’s story shows readers that they aren’t alone. That someone out there is rooting for them. That they’re going to make it to the other side. I see you. I am so proud of you for existing. Be brave. Be defiant. Keep fighting. The sun will shine on our faces again.
Is there a supporting character you secretly hope readers ask for a spin-off about?
Thea! I adore Thea immensely. She is my love letter to women at warped tour with chunky boots, bold eyeliner, glitter in their hair, and fists in the air. She is completely ungovernable and deserves to inflict her chaos on some poor sod (and they’d better say thank you).
And more!
Looking for a steamy queer romance where the rivalry is real and the chemistry is undeniable? Step into the ring with Celine Ong's Hold Me Like a Grudge
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